CALLING all you wonderful artistic types....we are holding a competition in The Elegant Savages to draw, paint, illustrate & doodle a piccie of the brilliantly macabre MissvonTrapp - the dark cabaret cellist!!!!

And yes it was! I played a half hour set alongside The Wattingers, The Mysterious Freakshow and Professor Elemental and it was truly mahvellous!

What a huge crowd and we had a glorious singalong and a mahvellous time. I was bought two gins and did photos and sold cds and everyone was lovely. Cannot wait to do it again sometime soon. Thankyou for having me!!

Oh yes! The Elegant Savages are featuring Songs To Die For in their issue 3... and I will have a full interview feature in issue 4!!

"Dark, Satirical, Brilliant"- The Elegant Savages 'Songs To Die For' Review. (April 23rd, 2013)

A selection of upcoming gig posters...

Breaking news! The Professor Elemental/Mysterious Freakshow/Miss Von Trapp gig at Exeter Phoenix on 17th May is GO GO GO!!

Am very excited about upcoming shows! Tomorrow night: A Pie Challenge, then secret gigs, and Steampunks In Springtime, and another Professor Elemental gig at the Exeter Phoenix and then VOLKSFEST 2013... AND MORE!!

And other things in the pot as well. Keeping it under my hat. And moving haus on 1st May to a place with a MUSIC ROOM!!

Go to http://www.missvontrapp.com for more details...

20th April 2013: Private Booking.

9th May 2013: Booked. Details to follow.

11th May 2013: Steampunks In Springtime Festival, The Labyrinth, Looe, Cornwall with Zetan Spore, Moriaty, True Collision, The Newsreaders, Malachite, Pure Myschief, Pinktrashki, BB Blackdog, Kernow Swing Collective, The Beutons, Miss Von Trapp, Tamsyn Swingler Hurdy Gurdy Extraordinaire, Tea Duelling and much more.

17th May 2013: Exeter Phoenix: Professor Elemental, The Mysterious Freakshow and Miss Von Trapp present a Steampunk Spectacular!

24th - 26th May 2013: I am on Saturday 25th 6pm, Plymouth Volksfest Cabaret Stage, Please visit the PlymouthVolksfest website for tickets. Cabaret Tent acts include a Kitty's Dolls Burlesque Special, Auntie Pus, Mister Joe Black, Miss Von Trapp and more...Mainstage Headline acts include Alabama 3, Hazel O'Connor, Seth Lakeman, Mad Dog McCrea, Zion Train, Ruarri Joseph, The Levellers...

20th - 21st September 2013: Reserved. Steampunk Festival details to follow.

23rd November 2013: Shhh Burlesque at The Winter Gardens, Weston-Super-Mare, Somerset. Nothing to do with amazing horses, it's a place.They promise to delight you with magic and music throughout a three course meal and, Bring you some of the biggest names in Burlesque right here in Somerset.  They have now confirmed these names - Anna Fur Laxis , Missy Malone , Domino Barbeau , Eliza DeLite and Sophia St Villier with Resident Velveteen Hussey and Vaudeville Cellist Miss Von Trapp. (ME!)This line up and sideshow entertainment throughout the evening will be compered to you by Luke Honnoraty Comedian and be delighted by the ever charming Panty Wrangler Drew!The evening also includes top photographers Bertrand Vessier and Tigz Rice!

And now it's nearly Easter. And I have been busy researching pies for my next gig at Annabel's on this coming Thursday...

And what have I been doing in the past week or so?

Took delivery of my new album: Songs To Die For. And now I have about 80 cds left out of 100, which all contributes to the Von Trapp Hausmove at the start of May...

And I had some airplay on The Best of the South West for Music Mill FM, on which they were absolutely lovely and played Tragic Moments. You can listen here!!

Or below:

And I was featured in an interview on happener.org which you can read here!!.

And then I wrote a 'Song For Easter'... Basically I saw the advert on tv for the Lindt chocolate bunny and my mind went into overdrive...

So now what? Cello practice, that's what. And planning for more gigs that are in the offing that I am really excited about. VOLKSFEST for starters!!

And packing for moving...

And selling copies of my album...

And possibly more interviews and things and more packing and...

Oh bugger. There is a cat using my cello case as a scratching post so I'd better go.

DOWN CASSIDY!!!

Btw, this is what 100 cds looks like. I have a few less now :D

https://www.facebook.com/events/226575720813924/

What have I been doing since I last updated on here? Lots. That's the answer....

I had a spot of airplay on CPR Radio again on Tuesday, and then a fangtastic gig at Acoustic Sessions last Thursday which was a whole lot of fun. I always enjoy playing venues that haven't had dark cabaret or me before. Some people had seen me, and came to see me, but there were plenty new converts to the MVT cause on that night who hadn't seen me before and thoroughly enjoyed the evening. Some mahvellous feedback from mahvellous people, and of course I had a gin, which was lovely. All in all I had a perfick evening.

Oh, and then it was declared International Ladies Weekend (extended International Women's Day) by This Is Cabaret.com and they shared my Have A Pie song from Songs To Die For. 

And then it was Mother's Day. A weekend combo of Wimmins Day and Mothers Day so I had double rations of hauswerk on account of it needing to be done. And I had chocolates and flowers but sadly no lie in because my daughter needed her breakfast and teh cats needed feeding. I must have been very wicked...

And then I sent my cd off to be pressed... 100 copies. A limited run so once they are in my grubby mits and the pre-orders are delivered I shall stick them up on bandcamp with a purchase link. Hardcopy owners get a limited Mourning Card and I will scribble something personal for you if you must lol. Trad.Arggh!!

And then on Monday I went to the dentist and nearly had a panic attack, but survived and came out with a filling instead and the knowledge that you can do a course at University for Medical School that is based on 'humour in the medical profession'... which intrigues me...

And also on Monday arranged a moving out date with our landlady so now we are haushunting for end of May... I WANT A MUSIC ROOM!!

And now it's TUESDAY and I would like to announce the date of my next gig: APRIL 4TH AT DOLLY DELIGHTS.

It's a 'WELCOME TO WONDERLAND' theme, and I shall be bringing copies of my new album, and providing a 'Pie Challenge' and a good old-fashioned singalong. If you don't go you won't find out what the 'Pie Challenge' is all about...

IT'S A MYSTERY...

YOU CAN BUY TICKETS HERE

BE SEEING YOU.

'Songs To Die For' is NOW AVAILABLE for a FIVER DOWNLOAD on BandCamp.  I will be pressing cds at the end of the month so if you want an actual cd at 6.50 plus p&p, with bonus Mourning Card instead... message me on facebook or on the contact form here!
http://missvontrapp.bandcamp.com

I have here for your viewing displeasure the videographic evidence of my Anti-Valentine show from Annabel's Cabaret and Discotheque on the 7th February. 

I hope everyone had a really good valentine's... single or otherwise, and remember there are benefits to being on your own on valentines day as I was.  Husband was at work, poorly daughter in bed upstairs and nothing but the gin bottle and internets for company...  Oh dear oh dear.  On the plus side, there was no compromise on where to go or what to do, no expectations and therefore no disappointment, and most importantly, sole control of the TV REMOTE.

So I went to bed early with the cats for company.  Perfick.

That's enough from me, here's a video of me performing 'Blood and Marriage' (my Sinatra rewrite) and Murder/Fever (apologies to Peggy Lee).  Enjoy:

Since horse meat is topical and supermarket dodgy dinners, thought I'd give you a sneaky listen to one of my album tracks: https://soundcloud.com/missvontrapp/miss-von-trapp-have-a-pie-from

Currently taking bookings for July onwards. Need minimum one month's notice. Drop me a message :D

Dates up to June:

7th March 2013: Acoustic Sessions, The Fortescue Hotel, Plymouth

4th April 2013: Reserved but not confirmed

20th April 2013: Private Wedding Booking. Yes, I do Weddings!

11th May 2013: Steampunks In Springtime Festival, Ladock Valley Farm

And I have a big one on 23rd November for Shhh Burlesque at The Winter Gardens in Weston-Super-Mare. For details follow the gig dates link on here:)

The gig at the Barbican Theatre B-Bar on Friday was awesome. The audience were eating... but howled beautifully and sang along to The Worm Song chorus without vomiting. Well done everybody.

Then this weekend, 3 Strand Minstrelsy, the folk band I recorded with their pirate themed album last year put the whole lot on soundcloud for free download, which is awesome! You can hear my cello on Nelson's Blood, Drunken Sailor and my favourite: High Barbaree here:

https://soundcloud.com/3strandminstrelsy/sets/look-ahead-look-astern

Download and enjoy!

And also, in my most mahvellous weekend, Stabcurdle Jack was played last night on CPR Presents... Steampunk: The Contemporary Progressive Rock show climbs the rigging and takes flight back into the world of Steampunk music.

It featured the likes of Professor Elemental, Vagabondage, Victor Sierra, BB Black Dog, Insomniac Folklore, Hayley Jane, Amanda Palmer, Tom Slatter, Frenchy and the Punk, Tricky Pixie, Alex the Kid, Strange Artifact, Sunday Driver, Seas of Mirth, the Mysterious Freakshow and many more. And me!!

Many thanks for requesting me, chaps. And for playing me of course xx

http://www.reading4u.co.uk

And here:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/CPR-radio-show-on-reading4ucouk/373247499354400

And finally...

Songs To Die For is finished. Just waiting on the album cover and then it will be on bandcamp to download for five of your english pounds or 6.50 plus postage for a limited cd jewel case copy with Mourning Card :D

On 1st February I shall be playing a 15 min interval set here: http://www.b-bar.co.uk/

BECKY BRINE, JULIAN ISAACS & GUESTS

PLYMOUTH: The B-Bar

FRI 1ST FEB, 2013 9pm

A unique musical evening in the company of famed local Devon swing-singing diva Ms Becky Brine and hot rhythm rocker (Auntie) Julian Isaacs feat. special guests (me!)

ADMISSION: £3
You can buy tickets online at www.b-bar.co.uk

The B-Bar is open from 11am daily with excellent teas, coffees and chocolate, fresh Thai noodles and specials with live music and jazz, blues and world tunes on our constant playlist.

Call The B-Bar on 01752 242021
Email: info@b-bar.co.uk
Web: http://www.b-bar.co.uk
Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/TheBBar
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bbarplymouth

Then on 7th February, another gig...

On a theme of The Big Bump Theory: Lessons in Burlesque... I shall be dispensing the Marriage Guidance Class. Sort of anti-valentine advice ;D

This is the public facebook event link: https://www.facebook.com/events/152478401567235/

Kitty's Dolls Burlesque Presents the Bi-monthly sell out burlesque showcase DOLLY DELIGHTS

Bringing you comedic mayhem with the BIG Bump theory.   Find out how the Bump has evolved.This special edition show to start off 2013 is celebrating the evolution of Kittys dolls Burlesque and the Divine dolls. With a fine selection of specimens to feast your eyes on. Featuring Burlesque from the Kitty's Dolls Burlesque academy.

BURLESQUE THEORIST

KITTY KANE founder of KDB will be returning to illustrate the theory of the art form.

Divine doll MISS ANGELIQUE DOMINIQUE bursting onto the scene.

SAM BUCA is sure to bump your socks off.

BETTY BOOM BOOM mean bumping machine.

There is limited seating, so limited tickets, to avoid disappointment book early! Last 7 events all seated tickets sold out before the doors open, so for group bookings make sure you get in touch.

Front Table Seats (V.I.P)£8

I have finally signed up to bandcamp so Morbid Ditties is available now on teh interweb. It's only taken six years!! My gawd, technologah!! (saves me burning copies) 

In all its gorey glory. 15 minutes of shame. In which I crucify such Christmas Carols as Away in a Manger, 12 Days of Christmas and Good King Wenceslas...

I have won that voting competition wotsit and have now been crowned WEIRD BAND OF THE WEEK on Weirdest Band in the World dotcom.

They had this to say about me, which I love. Clearly they've been round my house:

"She’s kind of Rasputina meets the Tiger Lillies meets the room this old spinster named Priscilla kept full of creaky antique toys on the street where I grew up. If that room had had a soundtrack, I bet it would’ve sounded exactly like Miss Von Trapp. Come to think of it, what the hell was I ever doing in that room? My parents did not inculcate me with a proper sense of Stranger Danger. If I were the subject of a Miss Von Trapp song, I surely would have met an untimely end."

You can see the article here!

Thanks chaps xx

I have been voted as Weird Band of the Week and will be appearing on the website belonging to this page soon!! Thankyou for your votes everyone!! Xxx

It is nearly New Year and so much has happened this year that's been so flipping fantastic fun that I'm struggling to pick highlights. Everything has been practically perfect in every way.

It's that time of year. The time of year where the C word is appropriate. In actual fact, seasonal...

Christmas Eve is upon us. If I were a shepherd I would bring a lamb, but I prefer gin. My gift to you is a read of my lyrics. Have a ginsoaked day!! xxx

God rest ye merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember when the end is come
It had to be this way
To save us all from going mad
When we were gone astray

SUNDAY DEC 16TH Annabel's & The VQ Entertainers proudly present...

... FIVE COLD LIMBS!!

It's been flipping ages since i last updated... but i have been very busy with gigs and recording and whatnot.  So let's begin at the beginning while i try and remember.

 27th October was Shhh Burlesque at Bridgwater Arts Centre. Truly amazeballs (Lianne you gave me this word). Lovely lovely hosts and performers - Beatrix Von Bourbon, Ally Katte, Violet Vayne, Velveteen Hussey, Miss Erised, Luke Honoratty et al - and a mahvellous audience in a fab venue and i drank 3 gins and ate a kebab.  Couldn't have been better.

Then: 31st October. Halloween. Another fantastic gig. Was only supposed to be on for twenty minutes but the publicans loved it so much they demanded a 20 minute encore til the closing bell rang out... and i didn't get eaten by zombies either...

I still hurt.

Currently madly planning my daughters 4th birthday party... circus theme... for this Sunday.  I shall be surrounded by tiny clowns. And working on a murderous Christmas song for my next gig on 6th December.  Oh and I'm very busy at work too.  I do have a real job y'know ;)

Join the Cabariot! I can't work on a cruiseship. I can't swim and I don't have a passport... Mr Gary Barlow, you need a rethink!

Had a mahvellous night at Dolly Delight's Spooktacular Spooktacular.  I invaded the stage for the Vincent Price bit of the Thriller group burlesque routine...

This Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I have been performing in the evening for 2hrs of walkabout at the freshers welcome parties for Plymouth University.

So again I have been busy.

I SURVIVED THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!

And it truly was a Zombie Apocalypse by the end of the weekend, since I got up at 4:30am on Saturday morning, went to work with the cello etc, got the train there, performed in the evening and stayed up till 3:30 in the morning because I HAD TO SEE PROFESSOR ELEMENTAL.

Who, by the way, is a lovely chap and wasn't in the least intimidated by my makeup.

The gig in the Roundhouse (no Patrick Swayze kicks involved) was fantastic. I had a truly mahvellous audience who even asked me to sign autographs!! 

I really enjoyed all the other bands and made lots of new fiends... Thanking in no particular order: Seraphina for inviting moi,  Tom from Veller Lia for the loan of the amp, Del for putting me up and feeding me, fiends for mahvellous photos - especially Peter and Smiff-ease photography... and to The Dark Design who very kindly gave me a lift all the way back home in their band 'tourbus' (hired van). Most mahvellous of them indeed. 

And I behaved, mostly, I only drank a pint of Pimms...And the Zombie Apocalypse? That was me, Sunday morning, having been up 23 hours the night before and only having slept 3 hours...

Here's some photographic evidence....

:

So, what's next I hear you ask?  Sometime around the 17/18/19th September I am supposed to be doing some walkabout clowning thingy, then around the 22ndish I am supposed to be in the studio recording my schtuf - and recording schtuf for my sister Lena Smith's album...

Then all hell breaks loose being busy in my favourite month beginning with, on the 4th October, this:

That was a lot of pictures, wasn't it. I do apologise.  Goodnight, fiends.

Been very busy recently with giggage for Auntie Pus' birthday bash - he used to support The Damned, recording cello on a Pirate Folk album with Three Strand Minstrelsy... and organising travel to my next gig which is a Steampunk festival event with a Zombie Apocalypse theme in darkest Cornwall for Summer Steam 2012.

It's going to be awesome. Going on the train which will be a first for my cello and first great western... and camping. Camping with my Cello.  Zombies... I'll fit right in.  And for which reason I am taking the electric cello!!

Further details if you also wish to come along and see me, Professor Elemental and loads of other great bands and Zombie-based Apocalyptic Activities from this link y'ere: Summer Steam 2012

I've gone crazy since I dismembered you.

 And I cut my own fringe this morning. Just a little too short. Can you tell?

Very sad to announce that due to circumstances beyond my control the Doctor and The Medics gig I was going to be playing has been cancelled.

Last week, the Queen saw fit to hijack both my wedding anniversary on the 3rd June AND my official birthday on the 9th with her own Jubilee and birthday celebrations. How very dare she, without even offering to do diaries.

Since I too am an Elizabeth, I declared myself Royalty, and boycotted the Jubilee celebrations by going away on holiday to the caravan and missing it all... On Wednesday I was crowned the Monarch of Gutter Utterances for a truly filthy limerick on a facebook page, and on the Thursday (7th) performed 'With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm' (1930's Stanley Holloway Music Hall song) and 'Cruel Brittania' at the Dolly Delight's Royal Jubblies Jubilee show with my severed head (Anne Boleyn) on stage.

The audience were fantastic, and keen to sing a long once I'd threatened to behead them - maybe a bit mean of me. And though I felt I wasn't quite my best having been to a funeral in the afternoon, everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves - which is a job well done in my books.

It was a good night, and I didn't get home til half past midnight. Made a new fiend with the lovely Lilly Laudanum, whose Queen Victoria act is a riot and thankfully I didn't turn into a pumpkin.

Friday I got my tricycle. Yes, I have a tricycle now. It's blue and huge and has a basket on the back where I can put the cats. They're currently using it as a shelter from the rain under its cover. It wouldn't fit in the car, so I had to ride it all the way home - first time pedalling for thirty years. Ow!

Saturday was my Official Birthday. Nothing to do with the Queen. I went to the church fete and bought myself a Horrible Histories science book all about the body. The icky bits. And in the evening, since my husband was working, a fiend of mine drove me all the way to Exeter for my BIG BIRTHDAY NIGHT OUT.

I went out in full Miss Von Trapp getup to Kinky and Quirky at the Corn Exchange, made some super fiends with Exeter Alternative Theatre, and saw the brilliant Lilly Laudanum again, along with angle grinding Keda Breeze, singinghoopingcomedienne Abigail Collins, the amazing Marnie Scarlet had me transfixed with her stapling and dart sticking in...

...and I saw and met JOE BLACK. He was mahvellous. Funny macabre. Right up my dark alley. And I got to have a good chat with him and Arran afterwards as well. Their Terms of Unnervement act about a sexually frustrated bee was awesomely funny. If it weren't for my bloomers I'd have wet myself laughing.

I got a photo and I made him sign my Murder/Fever lyrics sheet (c)Miss Von Trapp 2012

Got back at 3am and once again didn't turn into a pumpkin. Phew. Perfect end to a perfect week I'd say.

Thursday June 7th 2012: Miss Von Trapp will be haunting the Tower of London With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm.  We'll also have Queen Victoria visiting, and lots of lovely burlesque-type Lovely Jubblies. We are not amused... but you should be!!

KITTY’S DOLLS BURLESQUE presents DOLLY DELIGHTS
‘ ROYAL JUBBLIES

Miss Von Trapp was discovered at a folk festival in late 2006 clutching madly at her cello, muttering something incomprehensible about worms and claiming that 'they'd let her out again'.

Noone can be entirely sure when or where she was originally unearthed but she's here now to revolt and entertain.

Putting the fun into funereal since 2006 and performing live since 2007.  Available for weddings, funerals, festivals, cabaret nights, Halloween, Christmas, anything but children's parties...

Save the Dates! Some seriously exciting gigs coming up and more to be announced...


24th May, Ladies Night at Black Jacks. A night hosted by laydees, for everyone... An eclectic mix of lounge, jazz, folky styles... and me. Oh dear oh dear...

Or horrorful humour if you will. At least, that's what I'm doing...

Ladies Night at Black Jacks.  24th May.  8pm.

If you would like to listen to and find out more about each act you can find their info here:

 Lena Smith
Facebook
Soundcloud

Josie Newton
Facebook
YouTube

Miss Von Trapp
Facebook
Soundcloud

Bernardine Artuso
Reverbnation

 Harriet Jones
Facebook
Soundcloud

May Day. And I was in the studio at the art college in front of this:

It's the biggest camera I've ever seen, or been in front of, and entirely hand made by Tim Pearse and Martin... He's been taking lots of pics of burlesque performers with it and you can find the project link here: http://20x24cameraproject.tumblr.com/This is the image that was taken of me and I LOVE it. If I'd remembered it was negative I'd have held the cello on the opposite side to normal and showed off my tattoo as well lol, but I was going for a victorian vaudeville postcard look and I certainly achieved that!!



What an amazing photo!! And here's another one from the last show taken by Michael J Cole. Thanks xx



Next show is 24th May at Black Jacks. Ladies Night. 8pm. Hosted by Laydees, for everyone...See you there for half an hour of horror!!

Had a most mahvellous evening at the Dolly Delights show. Not least how fantastic my audience were - in that I got a standing ovation and had to come back for more applause.  Mahvellous indeed.

Also incredibly happy with this stellar testimonial from Star Khechara:

"Like a gothic doll from a horror movie sits Miss Von Trapp cackling and sat astride her electric cello. Booming out morbidly moribund lyrics and revamped traditional songs with a disturbing 'sing-a'long' style reminiscent of a scene from a Tim Burton film, Miss Von Trapp will hold you spellbound with her dark operatic capers and yet it is laughter that abounds in her audience as we find mirth in the twisted details of her songs and story telling. I recommend experiencing her performances - they're to DIE for."

Star Khechara http://thefaceliftdiet.com/

There's a new photo up in the gallery, and a video will be imminent.

In other news, next Dolly Delights is a Jubilee theme and I'm working on ideas already...

Thursday April 12th

Kitty’s Dolls Burlesque proudly presents
DOLLY DELIGHTS ‘APRIL ANNIVERSARY ‘ a special Celebration Show