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Upcoming Gigs With Posters. Note none for September as I'll be in Rehab. Probably.

Available for weddings, funerals, festivals,cabaret nights, birthdays, bar mitzvahs, Halloween,Christmas, anything but children's parties...  

 

I can do anything from 5 minutes to 40 or more dependent on your requirements. 

 

*not yet road-tested on under-10s. Probably best not. Pensioners are fine though.

 

Upcoming Shows:2014:   

 

22nd March 2014:  The Highwayman Inn, Sourton, Nr Okehampton. An hour of horrible humour, dark cabaret and vaudeville folk.  Join me for a singalong in two half hours - room for a wee in the middle. Or a gin.  For details see here: http://www.thehighwaymaninn.net 

 

19th April 2014:  Arthur Shilling's Steampunk Tea Party.  Cake, Comics, Comedy. (date tbc) 

 

23rd - 26th May 2014:  Volksfest Cabaret Tent 2014 with performers such as Marcel Lucont, Hal Cruttenden, Abigail Collins and more...


14th June 2014:  The Carnivale of the Peculiar: The Mysterious Freakshow Present a night of Steampunkery, Oddities and the Unusual, Exeter Phoenix. I will be playing in the Dark Cabaret room and celebrating my 40th birthday. Do join me!  Ticket link here:https://www.facebook.com/events/281119575346249

20th - 22nd June 2014:  Brass Brunel: Bristol's First Steampunk Convention. Tickets available from: https://brassbrunel.eventbrite. com

25th June 2014:  Pennycomequick Arts present 'Black Books': An evening of spoken word, performance, random acts of art and yours truly, Mayflower Bar on Plymouth's historic Barbican.  

 

5th July 2014:  Steampunk Ball, The Market House, St Austell. 

 

14th - 18th August 2014: Alt-Fest 2014: The Steampunk Experience! With Professor Elemental, Gladstone, Lord Montague Jacques Fromage, Birthrite, Metropolis, BB Blackdog, The Mysterious Freakshow, Frenchy and The Punk and more fantastic bands than you can shake a teacup at... The main stages have Marilyn Manson, Fields of The Nephilim, VNV Nation, The Cult, Gary Numan, Killing Joke... Too many to list. It's going to be MASSIVE!!

11th October 2014:  Rogues Gallery: A Neo-Vaudeville Night of Delights, Barnfield Theatre, Exeter. With The Copperfield Ensemble Project, Compering and Comedy from Cerys Nelmes, Burlesque from Angelique Dominique, Magician Marc Lobb, Dark Cabaret by myself and more. The Ultimate Authentic Music Hall Experience. Period Costumes Actively Encouraged...

1st November 2014:  Halloween Show, Club Rainbow, Torquay. 

 

13th December 2014:  Steampunk Extravaganza, Exeter TBC  

 

More tba as I confirm them. Usually I require a minimum of a month's advance notice of the date if you wish to book me unless it's for HALLOWEEN... In which case, book now!  

March? Already?! Oh no! I am a quarter gone!

Last night it occurred to me that I haven't updated my blog since New Years Eve or thereabouts.  That's a bit rubbish of me, isn't it. While I've been updating in snippets on facebook and twitter I haven't actually written anything in ages.

 

So WHAT have I been doing so far this year and what am I currently up to besides hauswerk avoidance?

 

Valentine's saw me doing a full half hour show at Club Rainbow in Torquay which went down fantastically well! Thoroughly enjoyed my stay in a hotel room for the weekend with superb food, welcoming staff and I got to perform too. I will be back there for Halloween... Yes. Booked already... :D

 

It was a brilliant show with fabulous performers and a completely packed and appreciative audience. I played to a full house of 250ish people and had TWO standing ovations!!

You can see the full show on my youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/missvontrapp

 

After which I have been busily confirming and arranging gigs for the rest of this year. Looking like at least one a month so far which is perfect when you basically do a 'thing' to guarantee a Mummy's Night Out from the dayjob. I never meant to be this popular but I am SO SO grateful to all of you.

 

Have a look at my gig dates page on missvontrapp.com and you'll see where I am and what I am doing. It's the only way I can keep track lol...

 

Last night I was played on GASP Radio again in an Alt-Fest special... SO MUCH LOVE in the Steampunk Community!! :D

 

And this week I am featured Audio-Visual Artist of the Week with Pennycomequick Arts PCQ.  I will also headline their next BlackBooks event here in Plymouth at Mayflower Bar in June. You will also find me on PCQ Arts radio show on 26th March 4-6 PM so don’t miss out...

 

Also don’t forget to join them for Night of the AVS at the Barbican's Mayflower Bar on 26th March from 7.30pm for the very first NIGHT OF THE AVs Featuring: the likes of 'Mrs. Lustleigh's Fancies' Oddbodies and 'Playmates' and 'Confession' Dimi Nakov (nominated at the Cannes International Film Festival) Alongside other great short films and the launch of Arts Magazine WONDERZOO?

 

http://www.pcqarts.co.uk/#!avoftheweek/c24vq

 

PCQ is a community arts movement based in Plymouth, the South West of the United Kingdom and I feel it is always important to support Arts in your area so am excited to be working with them.

 

My next gig is on 22nd March at The Highwayman Inn, Sourton.  Not that far off and I will be playing TWO half hour sets in this beautiful haunted pub... Promise not to scare them too much....

Doesn't it look beautifully creepy and atmospheric in there. Going up on the bus with my acoustic cello and will be celebrating the landlady's birthday so am looking forward to a singalong.

 

Get your worms ready!!

Happy New Year! (before I start on the gin and forget everything...)

Is it gin'o'clock yet?

Happy New Year to everyone and much love and thanks for your supports in 2013!

It has truly been an Annus Mahvellous...

*cough*

In the past year I have released a new album entitled 'Songs To Die For' available at http://missvontrapp.bandcamp.com,wrote an article in two parts for  This Is Cabaret and performed at so many shows and festivals...

They were all Mahvellous but my highlights were being in not one, but TWO Steampunk Extravaganzas with Professor Elemental, the Christmas Yule show featured a duet of 'Fairytale of CSI New York' which can be found on my youtube (http://www.youtube.com/user/missvontrapp), an avant-garde fashion show, an afternoon tea, Volksfest 2013, a 4 night theatre run with Exeter Alternative Theatre with performances from Lilly Laudanum, Velma Von Bon Bon, Sandy Sure and myself, and an evening at Wookey Hole - where thankfully I didn't move in as resident witch. Was a close call though...

You can find past gig dates and forthcoming shows on http://www.missvontrapp.com

Next year you can expect to see me at various venues around the South West including Brass Brunel: Bristol's first Steampunk Festival and further afield at Alt-Fest 2014, Kettering, in the Steampunk Zone. Perhaps another duet with Professor Elemental is on the cards...

And the year begins for me on 15th February at Club Rainbow, Torquay for "Till Death Us Do Part"; expect to hear my anti-valentine classics and some truly Tragic Moments ;D

So excited!!!

 

Love you all...

 

Miss Von Trapp xxxx

 

"If Sweeney Todd was a cellist instead of a barber he may have sounded like Miss Von Trapp!" - This Is Cabaret Halloween Twitter (October 31st, 2013)

"A phenomenally dark, twisted, inspired and brilliant performance. We loved every minute of it, thank you!" - Exeter Alternative Theatre Review of Live Show at Exeter Phoenix Steampunk Spectacular. (May 17th, 2013)

"Dark, Satirical, Brilliant" - The Elegant Savages 'Songs To Die For' Review. (April 23rd, 2013)

In the Bleak Midwinter

In the Bleak Midwinter
Frosty wives made moan
Children with old clothes on
Husbands leaving home
Costs had risen year on year
Year on year
With bedroom tax and food banks
No jobs or owning homes.

 

Our God in heav'n cannot hold us
Nor Earth sustain
All our earnings taxed away
Money down the drain
In the bleak midwinter
A stable wage sufficed
But for gas and electricity
We all paid the price.

 

What more can I give them?
Poor as I am
If I were a banker
I would spare a grand
If I were a rich man
I would do my part
Yet what I have I give them
All but my heart.

 

Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you threw it away. This year to save me from tears I'll pickle yours in a jam jar...

 

©Miss Von Trapp 2013. With apologies to Christina Rossetti and Wham.

 



Image from SIDESHOW at The Barnfield Theatre, Exeter © Nigel Cheffers-Heard

Fairytale of CSI New York: Think I have peaked too early for Christmas?

It's nearly Christmas!!!


Since being in Sideshow at The Barnfield Theatre, Exeter at the end of October I have been non-stop busy.  November saw me getting changed in a Santa Grotto at Wookey Hole and performing in Captain Jack's Restaurant. I did two fifteen min sets at Twirls of the Unexpected amongst burlesque and fire performers, circus acts juggling with knives and all sorts. I am hoping to have the photos back from it soon but it was truly spectacular in the most amazing venue I have ever seen and I am still picking bits of glitter and fake snow from out of my gig bag...

At the end of November I have been busy laying plans for next year and training lots of Christmas temps in my real job. Two intakes of 68 sober people plus me and a powerpoint - honestly scarier than having an audience of nearly 400 people who have had a beer at least... Yes I am talking about my audience on the 6th December.

That particular 6th December in question was last friday and I was onstage at the Exeter Phoenix for A Very Steampunk Yule alongside The Wattingers, The Copperfield Ensemble Project, The Mysterious Freakshow and Professor Elemental. 

 I also performed a duet as part of my Christmas Carol Carnage set that I had written for us both back in May (that's forward planning for you) with the good Professor Elemental himself: A parody of Fairytale of New York entitled 'Fairytale of CSI New York'.  It went down very well indeed and the videographic evidence below has only been up on YouTube two days and already my channel has 130 hits to the video and the Rev's has 444 hits. WOW!!!

So what's next in Miss Von Trapp Land?  Surviving Christmas and the New Year. That's what.  And then next year all manner of gigs if you look on my Gig Dates page.  More are being added as they turn up or are confirmed.

I also have plans for recording a couple of albums next year if I can. Grave Folk: A collection of dark and macabre folk songs, and, of course, the Christmas Album: Gin, Frankincense and Mirth, which will have to contain the Professor Elemental duet properly recorded and whatnot.  Soon as I have worked out how to use copyright for backing instrumentals - it MUST AND SHALL BE DONE AND WE SHALL DO IT!!

At some point before the New Year I shall have to blog my summary of what has been a MAHVELLOUS YEAR.  So wait on that one, fiends.


ANNUS MAHVELLOUS. There!

Happy Busy Halloween!! (and beyond)


 

Remember remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot
After Halloween season I see every reason
Why fireworks will be forgot.
As I am exhausted after last week,
Have fun with your rockets but I'll be asleep.
MVT XXX

 

And check for hedgehogs in your bonfires. Wrap them in clay first as they bake better that way.

 

Oh I had a mahvellous week off from the real job with the lovely people of Exeter Alternative Theatre, performing 'SIDESHOW' for four nights at the Barnfield Theatre in Exeter.


I performed Favourite Things, Daisy Daisy and The Worm Song as my solo spot, and the audience also enjoyed awesome performances by the cast and Lilly Laudanum,Sandy Sure and Velma Von Bon Bon. I had an amazing time and made lots of new friends over the course of the run.


It was exhausting going by train every evening and back each night, but I stayed over with a friend on the Saturday night and had a great aftershow party with everyone. There is an album of photos slowly growing on my facebook page so take a look over there!


Next up is Twirls of The Unexpected in Wookey Hole on November 16th, followed by A Steampunk Yule Ball with Professor Elemental and friends at Exeter Phoenix. Hope to see you there! xxx

Isn't it Grand to be Bloody Well Busy!

Crikey last week was busy.

Monday/Tuesday school runs and gentle cello practice.  Then I went back to work on Wednesday after being off for a while with a neck injury for which I had physio and acupuncture in the afternoon. My dreams of being a voodoo dolly have been realised. I am steadily getting better, but not very good at being a patient patient.

 

"My candle burns at both ends,
It will not last the night.
But, ah my foes, and oh my friends,
It gives a lovely light" : Edna St Vincent Millay

 

Thursday, after school runs, work and other daily whatnot I had a show to do where I performed a new song and an old favourite at Dolly Delight's Jeepers Peepers at Voodoo Lounge. New song for a new venue...

 

'Isn't it Grand to be Bloody Well Dead' is an irish traditional funeral song from the perspective of a dead man attending his own funeral service, passing comment on the preacher, flowers, mourners etcetera. I had to modify the lyrics slightly as one line would potentially cause offence but kept the majority of the song intact with my own arrangement. Trad.argh.

 

It went down very well with plenty of laughs and joining in... and lots of 'bloody well' somethings as we went along. Post funeral song I played the Halloween favourite, The Worm Song' with plenty of grisly glee. I love that clotted cream line...

 

Had so much fun that I sortof lost track of time so then I did a Stupid Thing.

 

So Thursday night/Friday morning I got to bed at 2am after performing at Dolly Delight's...Then I was up again at 7am for school run, straight into work til 2, home at 2.30 and next school run at 2.45, home at 4pm...

 

Suddenly realised at 5pm I had not eaten anything all day. 

 

NOTHING. NADA. ZILCH.

 

In fact I had only consumed leftover show candy and masses of coffee all day. I had a fryup and then couldn't be bothered with corsetry to go out to 'An Evening of Burlesque' with my husband. 

 

Had two gin and tonics...Oopsie...

 

Which is probably why, in my defence, I 'accidentally' wound up joining the end of the cast seating row for the aftershow autograph signing.

 

That's my story and I'm sticking to it...

 

Anyway, this week has started with me collecting my newly repaired tricycle and riding it home only to find another problem and having to ride it back again already...

 

The rest of the week I have work and rehearsing for my next show with a workshop to get to next Sunday.  I am very excited about this next venture, though I have yet to sort childcare (it will be done), as I have not been part of an actual full theatre production since being involved with Weird Cabaret at the Barbican Theatre, Plymouth in 2003 - 2004.

 

Can't wait to get up there and workshop schtuf as my training is in physical theatre. It's going to be a lot of fun and will run for four nights over my favourite time of the year... HALLOWEEN!!

 

Details are below:

 

SIDESHOW
https://www.facebook.com/events/218512051647994/

 

8.00pm – Wednesday 30th October – Saturday 2nd November
Tickets £12.50 (Students £10.00) from 01392 271808 or http://www.barnfieldtheatre.com

Thursday: Dolly Delight's Jeepers Peepers "Look at the mourners, bloody great hypocrites, Isn't it Grand, boys, to be Bloody Well Dead?"

And this is what I got up to on Friday night... I 'accidentally' joined the autograph lineup on the wrong side at 'An Evening of Burlesque' at Plymouth Pavilions. Naughty Miss Von Trapp saw a free chair on the end of the cast row... sat in it, schmoozed and shared skull lollipops *cough*

 

After the 'Sideshow' run I will have barely 14 days to prep for the next show... at Wookey Hole in Somerset. I shall do my utmost not to become resident witch but I can't promise anything...

 

 

 

Be seeing you!

Roll up! Roll up! Upcoming Shows!!

Halloween is fast approaching!!
And I am very excited... oh yes!! :D

 

Newspaper Review of my most recent gig...

Realised I failed to blog the most mahvellous review of my most recent gig at the B-Bar, Barbican Theatre Plymouth, during which I played my Murder Lounge and performance poetry set of Blood and Marriage, Tragic Moments, Roses Are Red, As I Do Time and Say it with Flowers...

 

"Miss Von Trapp took to the stage made up like Aunt Sally with her cello and theatrical weirdness; she's certainly and acquired taste but unique and highly entertaining in an alternative theatre kind of way. You can't help but love her!

 

A mixture of live music and comedy this was raw entertainment at its best."

 

Look mum! I'm in the local paper!! (people have been telling me this since it came out - I knew. I was there!)

RAISING STEAM CANCELLED... plus new gig info coming up.


Hugely disappointed to announce that Raising Steam on 21st September has been cancelled due to low ticket sales.

" It is with considerable regret that I am going to have to cancel this event.  After 6 months of effort and all the bands talking it up, sales to date have been .. 10 weekend tickets and 4 Sunday-only tickets.  Thank you to those who have had enough faith in the event to purchase a ticket, I will start processing the refunds in the next day or two.  Thank you also to ALL the bands, my support crew, Jane and Rob the MCs and the radio station for getting behind it and doing all that you did. It would have been great, but it seems the universe couldn't handle this much awesomeness ... "

It was a charity event so was unable to cover costs and still act as a fundraiser for New Futures Nepal as well if it went ahead. Steven C Davis put in so much work and we have promoted the arse out of it but so soon after ASYLUM perhaps people were out of pocket.

If anyone would still like to donate to the charity directly, here is the link: http://www.newfuturesnepal.org/

This is a real shame as not only will I not get a fun mum's weekend away from hauswerk and childcare, I will not be able to catch up with and play with all those amazing 10 other steampunk bands that I was really looking forward to and meet most mahvellous peoples and play for you.

And I won't be able to meet Lord Montague Jacques Fromage of SteampunkFunkBizarre either. AGAIN!! Ships passing once again my dear...  THWARTED!!:(

On a positive note I need to rest my neck injury still and will go to the Punks Picnic instead.  Which I would rather have liked to play at but didn't arrange because it clashed.

See you there perhaps and my next gig outing is Dolly Delight's Jeepers Peepers at Voodoo Lounge on 3rd October.

And I have a play script to read and some improv to work on for a 4 night production at the end of October which is exciting.  Entitled SIDESHOW it is a production by Exeter Alternative Theatre including performances from myself, Sandy Sure, Velma Von Bon Bon and Lilly Laudanum along a decaying circus theme for Halloween.

EVER SO EXCITED and will share posters and links as soon as I have them.

This is the one for October 3rd:

Two new show videos uploaded!!

I am very excited!! My last two wideos made by the mahvellous Colin have been uploaded to my youtube.


The AlienFox: Entity show and the last Dolly Delight's Jungle Fever shows are now available for your viewing pleasure.

The AlienFox show features some of my experimental noise poetry (I Am, Fix, Rose) and a song, and the Jungle Fever showcases my most recent dodgy rewrites of music hall/cabaret/sound of music songs. So very sorry...

Enjoy!


Lashings of cake and gin and why I am a pain in the neck...

Since my last post...

Playing at Arthur Shilling's Afternoon Tea was a most excellent excursion.  I had The Most Perfect stage in the Abbey Hall where creche normally store their toys... so I had a house, a naked dolly and a tricycle amongst many other items as stage props and played a full half hour set of music hall and gorey folk followed by as much tea and cake as I could eat, conversational tea duelling and many other activities.

I also managed to get the recipe for a bright green absinthe flavour cheesecake which was flavoured with star anise and ginger biscuits. Quite addictive. Obviously I took lots home, emptying out my cd box to make room for foodie goodies. Be Prepared!!

 

My next outing was to the B-bar... thankfully this time no-one was eating noodles - though I didn't play The Worm Song. Instead I played my Murder Lounge set of Blood And Marriage, Roses Are Red, Tragic Moments, As I Do Time and Say it with Flowers... and had a gin.  And my 15 minutes of shame as part of a musical evening with Auntie Pus, Becky Brine and fiends.  Am looking forward to the review in the local paper next friday. Woohoo!!

Next up, on the 21st September is Raising Steam - which you can read all about in the previous post along with ticket links... In the meantime I shall be uploading youtube wideos of Alienfox Entity and Dolly Delight's Jungle Fever shows... and resting my neck because I have done something stupid to it.

When I was moving haus at the start of May I fell off the top of a stepladder while taking down curtains and broke my fall with the back of my head on a couple of bookshelves before landing on the floor with a cracked rib, cuts to my leg and mild concussion. 

Since then, my busy gig schedule plus tricycling to and fro work and my data entry job have put so much strain on my neck on the right hand side that I am getting a lot of pain and have swelling on my neck on the bowing side around my collarbone.  Having an x-ray on friday to rule out having broken anything and just have to rest it so a 3 week ish break from playing will help. Quite literally I am a pain in the neck right now but will be good for September.

Hope to see you there!

Graveyards, Hats, Going Wild, Free Cake and Raising Steam...

Since my last post... A cracking graveyard photoshoot with Crestfall Photos. I played The Worm Song and others in the middle of Ford Park Cemetery... All the pictures are now on my facebook page for your perusal in the Face Of Woe album.

Alienfox: Entity was awesome. That is all. There was a parade of hats and collars made by the mahvellous Alienfox (who is currently comissioned for Wella), interspersed with incredibly good music and me doing song and performance poetry.   I played I Am, Fix, Rose, Blood and Marriage and Say it with Flowers to a packed audience. You can see the WHOLE SHOW here. I am 19 minutes in:


Then Dolly Delight's Jungle Fever the following Thursday... Had a really good singalong audience. Again it was packed. I performed Daisy Daisy, As I Do Time and Idle Vice and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

The full Miss Von Trapp videos for both Alienfox: Entity and Jungle Fever will be up on my Youtube shortly but there are short clips from Jungle Fever on my facebook page.

What's next...

Arthur Shilling's Tea Party this coming Saturday, a gig at the B-Bar... and then a big Steampunk Festival over two days in Reading.

Raising Steam is raising funds for New Futures Nepal and has a whole host of glorious steampunk bands over two days - see below. Tickets are on sale now - please follow the link to the event on my facebook -  and it's for a really good cause so if you can come along then please do. I am very excited to be part of it!!

This event is going to be fantastic and it's just over 4 weeks away! Get your tickets NOW!!

Miss Von Trapp at Raising Steam Festival in Reading on 21 & 22 September ... also lots of other fabulous Steampunk Bands playing including Gladstone, Birthrite, Metropolis, Steampunkfunk Bizarre, The Mysterious Freakshow, Tom Slatter and more... Get your tickets quick before they all sell out!!!!

Event Link: https://www.facebook.com/events/123942861133075

Ticket Link: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/event/5612037756

About New Futures Nepal:

New Futures Nepal empowers disadvantaged children and adults of Nepal by raising funds for initiatives that promote health, education and independence and supports social integration for children with disabilities to live in the community and within safe and loving homes. We adopt a ‘hands on, personal approach’, keep our administration costs low and work with local charities and organisations worldwide to facilitate the charity's goals and aims.We operate in a number of ways: a) Children, b) Education, and c) Lifelines.

CHILDREN : We work with separate childrens’ homes in Nepal and India that together provide shelter, education and loving care for about 40 children. All of the children are disadvantaged because they are either orphaned, abandoned or disabled. They are of Nepali origin and come from some of the poorest hill communities in the Nepalese and Indian Himalayas. Without our help they would have little hope for the future. The homes also provide full-time employment for about 10 adults, some of whom also have physical disabilities.

EDUCATION : We have two initiatives. Firstly, higher education and/or vocational training is available for all of the young adults leaving the homes. Its purpose is to equip them with qualifications and skills so they are able to achieve independent living. And secondly, health, safety and hygiene education is provided using interactive DVDs. These are widely distributed through District Health Offices and Village Development Committees and their purpose is to provide basic education in a group environment, i.e. village, family or school. The lessons range from HIV/AIDS awareness through to Human Trafficking and Growing Up.

LIFELINES : Our Lifelines scheme enables provision of financial aid to individuals, organisations and communities who are experiencing hardship and are in need of assistance. Each Lifeline must meet the aims and objectives of the charity and an annual budget is allocated for the Lifelines scheme.

Go South West, Young Man!: A Guide to Cabaret and Burlesque in Devon. Cornwall and thereabouts...

My article on Burlesque and Cabaret in the South West of England has been published on This Is Cabaret dotcom. I am a bit proud of myself!! I *did* ask if I could post my article on the blog as well, and the answer was a resounding yes... so here it is in full for you here!! *glowing - and not just on account of the weather*:

Recent events in the press with the National Trust hosting burlesque in Devon and Cornwall certainly caused a stir, but it made a change from the usual woodland bug hunts and jam making workshops that seem to mostly be on offer. In actual fact, if you go down to the Westcountry today you're in for a big surprise. It's not at all like The Archers. From Bristol (where the world ends in both directions) and Wales and all the way down to the bottom end of England - yes that's Cornwall - there are burlesque and cabaret venues, established circus companies and pop up events happening in Arts Centres and small Theatres and other venues with an increasing frequency. Some quarterly, like the gas bill, but many bi-monthly and actually you can find somewhere to entertain you pretty much any time you like. Not just on your birthday.

So here's a look at my highlights of what's happening in the South West, starting in Wales and working our way down - a grand tour if you like from Llanelli to Land's End...

Bluestocking Lounge, run by Lilly Laudanum is an established bi-monthly burlesque club that brings top names on the international scene to venues in Swansea and Llanelli. As well as supporting new and upcoming local performers since it began in February 2010, Bluestocking Lounge has seen the likes of internationally renowned RedSarah, Diva Hollywood, Beatrix Von Bourbon, Missy Malone, Banbury Cross and more as headline line-ups.

'After Hours Cabaret' in Newport is a quarterly show run by Tom Stanger and promises to bring some of the very best in Cabaret and Burlesque. It is relatively new, started in September 2012 but shows promise.

Moving across to Bristol and beyond, there is so much going on that you can take your pick from everything from Street Parade events and pop up burlesque and cabaret shows to established venues. The best place to look for current and upcoming listings in the South West area is on the South West Burlesque Collective's website, CoochieCrunch.com but I am highlighting some here.

Pink Kitten Dance School is the main school of exotic dance in Bristol teaching burlesque, pole dancing, aerial hoop, and aerial yoga. Tabitha Tease, the owner is a professional aerial, pole and burlesque performer.

Burn Brightly Burlesque and Hoochie Coochie Kabaret are burlesque and circus shows that are regular and established events in Bristol, but 'The Copper Feel Cabaret' is one to watch as it is new and I really like the name. Hosted by Lou-leigh Blue in the heart of Bristol at The Old Stag and Hounds, their first show on 13th July will have acts from such varied performers as Tabitha Tease, Poppy Von Tarte and Bella Rouge.

Bristol also has its very own Dr Sketchy's Anti-Art School which is also run by Lou-leigh Blue at the same venue.

Rebelado showgirls, based in Bristol, but performing internationally as well as across Somerset and the South-West, are a professional Brazilian Samba organisation with dancers, stilt-walkers and drummers. They have been touring internationally for over 10 years but also provide family friendly entertainment in the form of Carmen Miranda street theatre walkabout and 'samba tots' interactive dance workshops for festival, circus and family entertainment.

Outside Bristol - wait, the world doesn't end there! - Shhh! Burlesque are based in Bridgewater and run by Bertrand and Lianne Vessier. They put on regular shows with performers such as Beatrix Von Bourbon, Anna Fur Laxis and myself (cough) at the Bridgwater Arts Centre and The Winter Gardens, Weston Super Mare. The next show in November offers a three-course meal alongside burlesque and cabaret performances and a Gypsy Swing band. I promise not to play the Worm Song...

Mocking Bird Burlesque is run and hosted by Bethany Blue and Paloma Violets and puts on regular shows at bars in Swindon and Gloucester as well as performing all over as the Moreorlesque Sisters .

In Exeter and in Torquay, Kinky and Quirky run by Mark and Sarah Bell, have been offering uncompromisingly top quality dedicated burlesque and cabaret shows since they first started in 2007. Their shows are always a sell-out and they have everything from upcoming innovative performers to the big names on the national and international scene. Performers such as Velma Von Bon Bon, Marnie Scarlett, Glorian Gray, Joe Black, Anna Fur Laxis, Missy Malone, Craig the Hula Boy, Ginger Blush, Shirley Windmill and many more have graced their stages over the years. November 2013 sees them evolving again as they move on from a monthly residency to a quarterly theatrical show and ball - and this time they are bringing over the Burlesque Hall of Fame 2013, Reigning Queen of Burlesque LouLou D'vil as the headliner as well as the winner of their recent Stars In Their Bras burlesque competion performing: Miss Angelique Dominique.

Past Exeter, the show goes on. In Plymouth at the far end of England and onward into Cornwall. The B-Bar at the Barbican Theatre, Plymouth is host to Kabaret Kaos nights, as well as comedy, music and 'Forked' performance poetry nights. They also do excellent thai food if you want to eat your way through a show.

Annabel's Cabaret and Discotheque , known to locals as the 'Kingdom of Night-Time Pleasures' is a cocktail and performance venue that has bands, Club Fandango comedy nights, burlesque and belly-dancing all under one roof. It is also host to burlesque and belly dancing classes, the students of which put on thoroughly enjoyable bi-monthly newcomer showcases as 'Kittys Dolls Burlesque', which are always a sell-out and have attracted a large local following. You might even see me there once in a while as resident musical dark cabaret act 'Miss Von Trapp'. Devon's Only Dark Cabaret Cellist...

And Finally, Cornwall... that remote holiday destination of pasties (non-sequinned), cream teas and beaches also has events. Yes it does. Sterts Theatre in Liskeard this month hosted MIssy Malone's burlesque show on tour, Hall for Cornwall has big burlesque events intermittently with national names, and all the way down in Newquay, home of the surfboard, the Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Club hold monthly events with acts that mainly come down from that Lahndan, and hosted by Babaliscious of Slinky Minsky. It all looks rather fun.

Cornwall is also home to the fantastic Swamp Circus , which is the region's first and only Circus Training school in the ancient pirate town of Penryn. They do everything from juggling to acrobatics, aerial dance to clowning and stilt walking. They have regular shows, circus clubs and even holiday camps you can send your children to while you enjoy a quiet week on the beach.So there you have it. The world doesn't end at Bristol... And you can always pack some Cabaret with your cream tea as you holiday down to Devon and beyond. And you might even see me at some point...

To read my article first published on ThisIsCabaret.com please follow the links below: Go South West, Young Man: A Guide to Cabaret in Devon, Cornwall and thereabouts Part One

Go South West, Young Man: A Guide to Cabaret in Devon, Cornwall and thereabouts Part Two.

(huzzah!!)

Too hot. July, like a dog, July.

At the end of May I had the pleasure of playing Volksfest 2013. Thoroughly had a blast and graced the same Cabaret stage as Joe Black, Mitch Benn, Phil Kay, Mr B: The Gentleman Rhymer and more. Epic!


Then on 1st July, Elegant Savages magazine had me on the cover and a full length interview inside all about my folk and theatre and musical past and whatnot. It was jolly mahvellous and you can read it here: http://www.elegantsavage.co.uk

Shortly after, I went down to Cornwall to party with the steampunks at SinS Resurrected. It was hot.  I wore little more than vest and bloomers, drank far too much covonia and gin...  And I went on last at midnight in the dark and had a fantastic singalong with everybody there.

Thoroughly enjoyed myself, posed on random farm equipment, slept very badly in a tent and managed to get sunburn through baby factor 50 AND white makeup!!

Coming back on the train I also found the article I'd written on burlesque and cabaret in the SW had been published on http://www.thisiscabaret.com

It's a 2 part article and the second part will be up soon. Read it here: http://www.thisiscabaret.com/go-south-west-young-man-a-guide-to-cabaret-in-devon-cornwall-and-thereabouts/

So what's next this month? A private party on the 20th for a visitor from Switzerland and a fashion show on the 28th where I will be doing some very darkly different schtuf.  See you there!!

And the winner is...

Julia Harris.

 

You are the winner of the art competition to draw me. Your mahvellous artwork will be the cover of The Elegant Savages magazine - out 30th June - which has an interview all about me in it...

 

You will also recieve a print of the cover.  Very well done. I absolutely LOVE it!! :Dxxx

 

See ALL ENTRIES HERE: http://www.elegantsavage.co.uk/competition.html

Artwerk Competition!!

CALLING all you wonderful artistic types....we are holding a competition in The Elegant Savages to draw, paint, illustrate & doodle a piccie of the brilliantly macabre MissvonTrapp - the dark cabaret cellist!!!!

We are putting together a gallery page on http://www.elegantsavage.co.uk of ALL the submissions & the WINNER will be picked by Miss Von Trapp herself to feature on the FRONT COVER Which is good fun for all, as we have a glorious growing international following & it helps spread the good word about all your creativity!!!!

So give it a go & send all entries to either the facebook page below or email elegantsavages@yahoo.com.

Deadline is 20th June 2013 and size guidelines are recommended at 8" x 10" 300dpi. The usual copyrighty blurb entails, e.g if anyone nicks your images we'll display their heads on spikes outside the Tower of London JOIN IN - SPREAD THE WORD - HAVE FUN!!!

https://www.facebook.com/TheElegantSavages

Exeter Steampunk Spectacular!

And yes it was! I played a half hour set alongside The Wattingers, The Mysterious Freakshow and Professor Elemental and it was truly mahvellous!

What a huge crowd and we had a glorious singalong and a mahvellous time. I was bought two gins and did photos and sold cds and everyone was lovely. Cannot wait to do it again sometime soon. Thankyou for having me!!


Next gig: Volksfest 2013: Saturday 25th 6pm. See you there!xx

Woohoo!! A review advert and more to come with The Elegant Savages!

Oh yes! The Elegant Savages are featuring Songs To Die For in their issue 3... and I will have a full interview feature in issue 4!!

The Elegant Savages Whole Page Advert!!

"Dark, Satirical, Brilliant"- The Elegant Savages 'Songs To Die For' Review. (April 23rd, 2013)

In other news, had a fantastic time playing at a WEDDING on Saturday night, am dosed up on Lemsip again... and I am moving haus in a week and nothing much is packed yet. Oh HALP.

Upcoming Gig Posters!


A selection of upcoming gig posters...

Steampunks In Springtime. May 11th 2013: https://www.facebook.com/events/168502886631065/

Exeter Phoenix 17th May: https://www.facebook.com/events/361575203963859/

Volksfest 2013: Cabaret Tent Sat 6pm: https://www.facebook.com/events/145275715634316/

AlienFox: Entity. Fashion show, music, performances.Upstairs at The The-Vauxhall Quay, Plymouth. Sunday 28th July, 8:30pm.

Raising Steam: A Steampunk Charity Fundraiser that I am excited and proud to be part of in September :D https://www.facebook.com/events/123942861133075/

Winter Gardens Shhh Burlesque. November 23rd. https://www.facebook.com/events/180408648774006/

Alt-Fest 2014: The Steampunk Experience! https://www.facebook.com/events/239384216202258/

 

It's April already and May is going to be Madness!!

Breaking news! The Professor Elemental/Mysterious Freakshow/Miss Von Trapp gig at Exeter Phoenix on 17th May is GO GO GO!!

Am very excited about upcoming shows! Tomorrow night: A Pie Challenge, then secret gigs, and Steampunks In Springtime, and another Professor Elemental gig at the Exeter Phoenix and then VOLKSFEST 2013... AND MORE!!

And other things in the pot as well. Keeping it under my hat. And moving haus on 1st May to a place with a MUSIC ROOM!!

Right ho. Best get my practice head on for tomorrows show. Bloomers are on the airer...

Go to http://www.missvontrapp.com for more details...

Upcoming Shows: 4th April 2013: Dolly Delights 'Welcome To Wonderland', Annabel's Cabaret and Discotheque, Plymouth.

20th April 2013: Private Booking.

9th May 2013: Booked. Details to follow.

11th May 2013: Steampunks In Springtime Festival, The Labyrinth, Looe, Cornwall with Zetan Spore, Moriaty, True Collision, The Newsreaders, Malachite, Pure Myschief, Pinktrashki, BB Blackdog, Kernow Swing Collective, The Beutons, Miss Von Trapp, Tamsyn Swingler Hurdy Gurdy Extraordinaire, Tea Duelling and much more.

17th May 2013: Exeter Phoenix: Professor Elemental, The Mysterious Freakshow and Miss Von Trapp present a Steampunk Spectacular!

24th - 26th May 2013: I am on Saturday 25th 6pm, Plymouth Volksfest Cabaret Stage, Please visit the PlymouthVolksfest website for tickets. Cabaret Tent acts include a Kitty's Dolls Burlesque Special, Auntie Pus, Mister Joe Black, Miss Von Trapp and more...Mainstage Headline acts include Alabama 3, Hazel O'Connor, Seth Lakeman, Mad Dog McCrea, Zion Train, Ruarri Joseph, The Levellers...

20th - 21st September 2013: Reserved. Steampunk Festival details to follow.

23rd November 2013: Shhh Burlesque at The Winter Gardens, Weston-Super-Mare, Somerset. Nothing to do with amazing horses, it's a place.They promise to delight you with magic and music throughout a three course meal and, Bring you some of the biggest names in Burlesque right here in Somerset.  They have now confirmed these names - Anna Fur Laxis , Missy Malone , Domino Barbeau , Eliza DeLite and Sophia St Villier with Resident Velveteen Hussey and Vaudeville Cellist Miss Von Trapp. (ME!)This line up and sideshow entertainment throughout the evening will be compered to you by Luke Honnoraty Comedian and be delighted by the ever charming Panty Wrangler Drew!The evening also includes top photographers Bertrand Vessier and Tigz Rice!

All this will cost you £30!(including the three course meal!)concessions can be made for large bookings: Contact Shhh Burlesque Events for more details.

Eeeee!! Random Headless Kitty!!

Next month is going to be mental!!

And on the third day she ate lots of chocolate...

And now it's nearly Easter. And I have been busy researching pies for my next gig at Annabel's on this coming Thursday...

And what have I been doing in the past week or so?

Took delivery of my new album: Songs To Die For. And now I have about 80 cds left out of 100, which all contributes to the Von Trapp Hausmove at the start of May...

And I had some airplay on The Best of the South West for Music Mill FM, on which they were absolutely lovely and played Tragic Moments. You can listen here!!

Or below:

And I was featured in an interview on happener.org which you can read here!!.

And then I wrote a 'Song For Easter'... Basically I saw the advert on tv for the Lindt chocolate bunny and my mind went into overdrive...

So now what? Cello practice, that's what. And planning for more gigs that are in the offing that I am really excited about. VOLKSFEST for starters!!

And packing for moving...

And selling copies of my album...

And possibly more interviews and things and more packing and...

Oh bugger. There is a cat using my cello case as a scratching post so I'd better go.

DOWN CASSIDY!!!

Btw, this is what 100 cds looks like. I have a few less now :D
Songs to Die For

Welcome To Wonderland...

Got to make sure I go down the right hole at my next gig. The rabbit one... and I will be bringing 'Songs To Die For' as well...

https://www.facebook.com/events/226575720813924/

That was a busy week... What's next? (a lot of wittering/no pictures)

What have I been doing since I last updated on here? Lots. That's the answer....

I had a spot of airplay on CPR Radio again on Tuesday, and then a fangtastic gig at Acoustic Sessions last Thursday which was a whole lot of fun. I always enjoy playing venues that haven't had dark cabaret or me before. Some people had seen me, and came to see me, but there were plenty new converts to the MVT cause on that night who hadn't seen me before and thoroughly enjoyed the evening. Some mahvellous feedback from mahvellous people, and of course I had a gin, which was lovely. All in all I had a perfick evening.

Oh, and then it was declared International Ladies Weekend (extended International Women's Day) by This Is Cabaret.com and they shared my Have A Pie song from Songs To Die For

And then it was Mother's Day. A weekend combo of Wimmins Day and Mothers Day so I had double rations of hauswerk on account of it needing to be done. And I had chocolates and flowers but sadly no lie in because my daughter needed her breakfast and teh cats needed feeding. I must have been very wicked...

And then I sent my cd off to be pressed... 100 copies. A limited run so once they are in my grubby mits and the pre-orders are delivered I shall stick them up on bandcamp with a purchase link. Hardcopy owners get a limited Mourning Card and I will scribble something personal for you if you must lol. Trad.Arggh!!

And then on Monday I went to the dentist and nearly had a panic attack, but survived and came out with a filling instead and the knowledge that you can do a course at University for Medical School that is based on 'humour in the medical profession'... which intrigues me...

And also on Monday arranged a moving out date with our landlady so now we are haushunting for end of May... I WANT A MUSIC ROOM!!

And now it's TUESDAY and I would like to announce the date of my next gig: APRIL 4TH AT DOLLY DELIGHTS.

It's a 'WELCOME TO WONDERLAND' theme, and I shall be bringing copies of my new album, and providing a 'Pie Challenge' and a good old-fashioned singalong. If you don't go you won't find out what the 'Pie Challenge' is all about...

IT'S A MYSTERY...

YOU CAN BUY TICKETS HERE

BE SEEING YOU.

'Songs To Die For' is out at last!!

'Songs To Die For' is NOW AVAILABLE for a FIVER DOWNLOAD on BandCamp.  I will be pressing cds at the end of the month so if you want an actual cd at 6.50 plus p&p, with bonus Mourning Card instead... message me on facebook or on the contact form here!
http://missvontrapp.bandcamp.com

Blood and Murder on the dancefloor... Anti-valentine was a big success.

I have here for your viewing displeasure the videographic evidence of my Anti-Valentine show from Annabel's Cabaret and Discotheque on the 7th February. 

I hope everyone had a really good valentine's... single or otherwise, and remember there are benefits to being on your own on valentines day as I was.  Husband was at work, poorly daughter in bed upstairs and nothing but the gin bottle and internets for company...  Oh dear oh dear.  On the plus side, there was no compromise on where to go or what to do, no expectations and therefore no disappointment, and most importantly, sole control of the TV REMOTE.

So I went to bed early with the cats for company.  Perfick.

That's enough from me, here's a video of me performing 'Blood and Marriage' (my Sinatra rewrite) and Murder/Fever (apologies to Peggy Lee).  Enjoy:

Sneak Preview of Songs To Die For: Have A Pie


Since horse meat is topical and supermarket dodgy dinners, thought I'd give you a sneaky listen to one of my album tracks: https://soundcloud.com/missvontrapp/miss-von-trapp-have-a-pie-from

Currently taking bookings for July onwards. Need minimum one month's notice. Drop me a message :D

Dates up to June:

7th March 2013: Acoustic Sessions, The Fortescue Hotel, Plymouth

4th April 2013: Reserved but not confirmed

20th April 2013: Private Wedding Booking. Yes, I do Weddings!

11th May 2013: Steampunks In Springtime Festival, Ladock Valley Farm

And I have a big one on 23rd November for Shhh Burlesque at The Winter Gardens in Weston-Super-Mare. For details follow the gig dates link on here:)

Oh what a weekend! And it feels Springish in the air!

The gig at the Barbican Theatre B-Bar on Friday was awesome. The audience were eating... but howled beautifully and sang along to The Worm Song chorus without vomiting. Well done everybody.

Then this weekend, 3 Strand Minstrelsy, the folk band I recorded with their pirate themed album last year put the whole lot on soundcloud for free download, which is awesome! You can hear my cello on Nelson's Blood, Drunken Sailor and my favourite: High Barbaree here:

https://soundcloud.com/3strandminstrelsy/sets/look-ahead-look-astern

Download and enjoy!

And also, in my most mahvellous weekend, Stabcurdle Jack was played last night on CPR Presents... Steampunk: The Contemporary Progressive Rock show climbs the rigging and takes flight back into the world of Steampunk music.

It featured the likes of Professor Elemental, Vagabondage, Victor Sierra, BB Black Dog, Insomniac Folklore, Hayley Jane, Amanda Palmer, Tom Slatter, Frenchy and the Punk, Tricky Pixie, Alex the Kid, Strange Artifact, Sunday Driver, Seas of Mirth, the Mysterious Freakshow and many more. And me!!

Many thanks for requesting me, chaps. And for playing me of course xx

http://www.reading4u.co.uk

And here:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/CPR-radio-show-on-reading4ucouk/373247499354400

And finally...

I have a gig tomorrow night at Annabel's Cabaret and Discotheque (doors 8.30) where I will be airing Blood and Marriage and getting away with Murder for my anti-valentine marriage guidance set. See you there :D

It's coming...


Songs To Die For is finished. Just waiting on the album cover and then it will be on bandcamp to download for five of your english pounds or 6.50 plus postage for a limited cd jewel case copy with Mourning Card :D

 

Upcoming Giggage!!

On 1st February I shall be playing a 15 min interval set here: http://www.b-bar.co.uk/

BECKY BRINE, JULIAN ISAACS & GUESTS

PLYMOUTH: The B-Bar

FRI 1ST FEB, 2013 9pm

A unique musical evening in the company of famed local Devon swing-singing diva Ms Becky Brine and hot rhythm rocker (Auntie) Julian Isaacs feat. special guests (me!)

ADMISSION: £3
You can buy tickets online at www.b-bar.co.uk

The B-Bar is open from 11am daily with excellent teas, coffees and chocolate, fresh Thai noodles and specials with live music and jazz, blues and world tunes on our constant playlist.

Call The B-Bar on 01752 242021
Email: info@b-bar.co.uk
Web: http://www.b-bar.co.uk
Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/TheBBar
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bbarplymouth

Then on 7th February, another gig...

On a theme of The Big Bump Theory: Lessons in Burlesque... I shall be dispensing the Marriage Guidance Class. Sort of anti-valentine advice ;D

This is the public facebook event link: https://www.facebook.com/events/152478401567235/

Kitty's Dolls Burlesque Presents the Bi-monthly sell out burlesque showcase DOLLY DELIGHTS

Bringing you comedic mayhem with the BIG Bump theory.   Find out how the Bump has evolved.This special edition show to start off 2013 is celebrating the evolution of Kittys dolls Burlesque and the Divine dolls. With a fine selection of specimens to feast your eyes on. Featuring Burlesque from the Kitty's Dolls Burlesque academy.

BURLESQUE THEORIST

KITTY KANE founder of KDB will be returning to illustrate the theory of the art form.

Divine doll MISS ANGELIQUE DOMINIQUE bursting onto the scene.

SAM BUCA is sure to bump your socks off.

BETTY BOOM BOOM mean bumping machine.

VISTA BELLA blonde bombshell and more TBC

BELLY DANCE THEORISTS

HEAD TEACHER 'FOXY' will be hosting the night ensuring you all get taught some life changing facts

Musical practical from MISS VON TRAPP exercising your vocal chords and funny bones.

There is limited seating, so limited tickets, to avoid disappointment book early! Last 7 events all seated tickets sold out before the doors open, so for group bookings make sure you get in touch.

So Come Woop and holla to show your support and share the love!DRESS TO IMPRESS!!


Advance Tickets: FROM HERE: http://kittysdollsburlesque.com/Burlesque-Shows(2355518).htm

Front Table Seats (V.I.P)£8

(limited first to buy will get, only available online)
All other advance seating £6 advance
Tickets on the door £7
Doors open 8.30pm
Show starts 9.15pm (sharp) - late

 

www.annabelscabaret.co.uk

Morbid Ditties is now on BandCamp!!

I have finally signed up to bandcamp so Morbid Ditties is available now on teh interweb. It's only taken six years!! My gawd, technologah!! (saves me burning copies) 

http://missvontrapp.bandcamp.com

 

Songs To Die For will be put up when it is completed with hard cd copies available also xx

Now on YouTube: Christmas Carol Carnage

In all its gorey glory. 15 minutes of shame. In which I crucify such Christmas Carols as Away in a Manger, 12 Days of Christmas and Good King Wenceslas...

 

So now I am officially WEIRD. As if you hadn't guessed.

I have won that voting competition wotsit and have now been crowned WEIRD BAND OF THE WEEK on Weirdest Band in the World dotcom.

They had this to say about me, which I love. Clearly they've been round my house:

"She’s kind of Rasputina meets the Tiger Lillies meets the room this old spinster named Priscilla kept full of creaky antique toys on the street where I grew up. If that room had had a soundtrack, I bet it would’ve sounded exactly like Miss Von Trapp. Come to think of it, what the hell was I ever doing in that room? My parents did not inculcate me with a proper sense of Stranger Danger. If I were the subject of a Miss Von Trapp song, I surely would have met an untimely end."

You can see the article here!

Thanks chaps xx

Weird Band of the Week

I have been voted as Weird Band of the Week and will be appearing on the website belonging to this page soon!! Thankyou for your votes everyone!! Xxx

 

http://www.facebook.com/weirdestbandintheworld

 

First thing to do early this year is finalise the release of my new album. It's called Songs to Die For and will include traditional songs about a little boy being poisoned by eels and dying (Green and Yeller - traditional) and The Worm Song (trad.argh) and original material with valentines poems about murdering your exes (Roses are Red) and songs about beheadings (marie antoinette) and dodgy pies (You've got a Lovett: Have a Pie) and more...

 

 Running order: Songs to Die For

 

Roses are red
The Worm Song 2012
Daisy Daisy (i've gone crazy since I dismembered you)
With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm
Cruel Britannia
Let Them Eat Cake: Marie Antoinette's Protest Song
Green and yeller
Have A Pie : Modern Mrs Lovett
Say it with flowers

It's Nearly the New Year. Will probably already be 2013 by the time you read this.

It is nearly New Year and so much has happened this year that's been so flipping fantastic fun that I'm struggling to pick highlights. Everything has been practically perfect in every way.

 

So I will probably do a roundup sort of post after New Year.  When I have had time to think about it. And you can read last years giglist on http://www.missvontrapp.com to see what I did or scroll back through this blog lol

 

There is a lot in the offing for 2013. Not least the completion of the first proper printed and pressed studio album: Songs To Die For.  Morbid Ditties (2006) is still available by request but does not include much recently performed material obviously. Apart from The Worm Song and Stabcurdle Jack. And more exciting gigs and new songs to be doing too.

 

 In other news I have those revolutions to think of by the end of today. I achieved all last years so I will have to think of something more of a challenge. Like not swigging Benylin or something...

 

Oh, and my cover of the Lady in The Radiator song has wound up on a blog. Sixth one down on here lol
http://experimentalelectronicsandothermusic.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/lady-in-radiator.html

 

 And I've been in a facebook poll competition for The Weirdest Band in The World website. Google it. It's been mental. Results of which I shall post when I know them.

 

 

 

Otherwise, I'd like to thank EVERYONE for your tremendous support. Let's make 2013 amazing xxx
Eat chocolate, drink gin and be scary. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Happy Christmas!!

It's that time of year. The time of year where the C word is appropriate. In actual fact, seasonal...

 

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

Twas the Night Before Christmas...

Christmas Eve is upon us. If I were a shepherd I would bring a lamb, but I prefer gin. My gift to you is a read of my lyrics. Have a ginsoaked day!! xxx

 

On the 12 days of Christmas my stalker sent to me:
12 armed policemen - none of this is mine officer!
11 corpses bloating
10 worms a wriggling
9 hearts still beating
8 eyeballs rolling
7 knives for flaying
6 maids a mourning
5 COLD LIMBS
4 calling cards
3 poison pens
2 latex gloves

 

And a coffin to keep my presents in!

 

Away in a manger
No room in the bed
So I cut off her toes
And I cut off her head
The stars in the bright sky
Looked down where she lay
All chopped up and bloody
And dead in the hay

 

(c)MVT 2012

 

Sing along now...

The Apocalypse Song

God rest ye merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember when the end is come
It had to be this way
To save us all from going mad
When we were gone astray

 

 Oh tidings of apocalypse and doom
Apocalypse and doom
Oh tidings of apocalypse and doom.

 

 In mayan times in Mexico
The prophecy was writ
And carved upon a sacred stone
In hieroglyphs and grit
Yet which nobody would believe
One bleeding word of it

 

Oh...

 

From NASA and from youtube
A blessed video came
Explaining how theyd got it wrong
And noone was to blame
How that in Mayan times the
Calculations werent the same

 

Oh...

 

Fear not then, said the video
Let nothing you affright
There are no flaming fireballs
Or aliens in sight
So all of those who trusted in
The Mayans can't be right.

 

Oh...

 

The people at those tidings
Rejoiced much in mind
And left their facebooks open
To frape and storm and wind
And went out drinking straightaway
How could they be so blind

 

Oh...

 

And when they came to be outside
Where all the bodies lay
They found themselves in danger
The world in dissarray
And all the people kneeling down
Unto the Lord did pray

 

Oh...

 

Now to the Lord sing SAVE US
All you within this place
And with true fear and brotherhood
Each other now embrace
This holy tide of death and fire
Our cities doth deface

 

Oh tidings of apocalypse and doom
Apocalypse and doom
Oh tidings of apocalypse and doom.

 

(c)MVT 2012

Jumpers and Jingles for Save The Children

SUNDAY DEC 16TH Annabel's & The VQ Entertainers proudly present...

 

'JUMPERS & JINGLES' CHRISTMAS SHOW
in support of Save the Children. A magical and spectacular evening of outrageous Festive Jumpers, Christmas Jingles & jolly frolics!

 

Featuring a lineup of Star Performers from Annabel's & The VQ getting their festive groove on to get you in the mood for the most wonderful time of the year.

 

(Or you are welcome to come along and be a Scrooge...a few of our performers are!)

 

PLUS probably the Best Christmas band in the world 'FRANKINCENSE RELAX' who for the last two Christmas shows have been our jingle to our bells!*Charity Raffle*Enjoy Jumpers & Jingles Cocktail & Mulled Wine*

 

PRIZE FOR THE BEST CHRISTMAS JUMPER!(Wear a Christmas Jumper for Save the Children...be it one your Grandmother knitted, a charity shop find, your own customized version, or John Lewis darling...from the tame to the outrageous. Get those knits on!)

 

DOORS OPEN 7.30PM / Tickets £3 on the doorSHOW STARTS 8.15PM sharp

 

WE STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO RESERVE SEATS as the first two parts of the show is seated...RING 01752 260 555 in advance to reserve seats.See you on Sunday! Let it Snow let it snow let it snow ( :Esther Alexandra & Susan Keast x

 

************THE JUMPER & JINGLES LINEUP*************

 

MISS SAMBUCA - Annabel's princess of Burlesque would certainly make Santa blush ( ;

 

MISS VON TRAPP - She will revolt and entertain you accompanied by her dark cello...just wait to hear her stalker version of the 12 days of Christmas!

 

AMEERA - Annabel's exotic shimmy shaker, also Miss Belly Dance UK 2011 adding the spice to our Christmas Show...

 

CAROUSEL QUARTET - they have won an award for their harmonizing abilities, and they are quite funny too ( :

 

FESTIVE JINGLES & FUN from some of the star performers that have performed at the VQ & Annabel's over the years: ALEX HART, SOOZ MAC, ELANI EVANGELOU, DAVID BENASSI, RUPERT LEIGHTON, MARK PALMER, POPPY MCHUGH, ESTHER ALEXANDRA and welcoming fresh on to the stage ROB CRESSWELL, LUCY WALKER, & AMY SAMPSON.

 

FRANKINCENSE RELAX - Probably the best Christmas band in the world....trust us! They are the jingle to our bells, the twinkle to Santa's eyes ( ;

 

AND HOSTED BY the one and only outrageous and charming FOXY! He will keep you on your twinkle toes with his flair and naughty humour.

 

On the Fifth Day of Christmas my Stalker sent to me...

... FIVE COLD LIMBS!!

 

Four calling cards, three poison pens, two latex gloves and a coffin to keep my presents in!

 

The Christmas season got off to a rollicking good start on Thursday last with an excellent audience singalong crucifying christmas carols at Dolly Delights Stocking Fillers.

 

I did a version of Twas The Night Before Christmas, Away in a Manger, Silent Night, my CSI inspired 12 Days of Christmas and, by audience request, Bad King Wenceslas.  Was brilliant fun and I'm doing it all again next Sunday for a Save The Children fundraising Christmas show. Wheee!!

Next show. Hope to see you there for another festive singalong!!

October was so busy I failed to update until now. Oops.

It's been flipping ages since i last updated... but i have been very busy with gigs and recording and whatnot.  So let's begin at the beginning while i try and remember.

 27th October was Shhh Burlesque at Bridgwater Arts Centre. Truly amazeballs (Lianne you gave me this word). Lovely lovely hosts and performers - Beatrix Von Bourbon, Ally Katte, Violet Vayne, Velveteen Hussey, Miss Erised, Luke Honoratty et al - and a mahvellous audience in a fab venue and i drank 3 gins and ate a kebab.  Couldn't have been better.

Superb set of photos too!!

Then: 31st October. Halloween. Another fantastic gig. Was only supposed to be on for twenty minutes but the publicans loved it so much they demanded a 20 minute encore til the closing bell rang out... and i didn't get eaten by zombies either...

...though it was a close call...

 

Then i had three days of recording my next album (Songs To Die For) at Beliefspace Studio. Great fun. Found a really good beheading noise for Marie Antoinette and my sister Lena Smith put pub pianah on Have A Pie which was just perfect for a knees up. You've gotta Lovett.

Following which I had a Private Party gig on 9th November where lots of pie and apple vodka was consumed...

And then spent four hours jamming jazzfunk in the studio the next night at my sister's birthday party.

I still hurt.

Currently madly planning my daughters 4th birthday party... circus theme... for this Sunday.  I shall be surrounded by tiny clowns. And working on a murderous Christmas song for my next gig on 6th December.  Oh and I'm very busy at work too.  I do have a real job y'know ;)

 

Too Cabaret?


Join the Cabariot! I can't work on a cruiseship. I can't swim and I don't have a passport... Mr Gary Barlow, you need a rethink!

But I do have cat hazard tape :D

 

http://www.facebook.com/toocabaret

Spooktacular Spooktacular

Had a mahvellous night at Dolly Delight's Spooktacular Spooktacular.  I invaded the stage for the Vincent Price bit of the Thriller group burlesque routine...

 

and performed Favourite Things and The Worm Song for an incredibly enthusiastic singalonging audience. It was a seriously awesome evening with tons of brilliant acts and started my favourite month off perfectly.

My next gig is at Bridgwater Arts Centre for Shhh Burlesque with Beatrix Von Bourbon as the headline act. Cannot wait!!

 

Happy Halloween Already!!

Plymouth Freshers Welcome Party Walkabout and Whatnot

This Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I have been performing in the evening for 2hrs of walkabout at the freshers welcome parties for Plymouth University.

 

 Monday night myself and Kitty Kane went out as Miss Von Trapp and her stiltwalking daughter. I had a shopping trolley full of random instruments for poor victims to play and Mr Bond the animatronic cat... that got a lot of stroking... Kitty on stilts was a 'difficult birth... hard life growing up in the circus when your conjurer husband does the c section. Inna box and ended up with half of me...' and other such ridiculous banter.

My vibrating pussycat, Mr Bond is a fur real playful pet:

Tuesday night, with Tuesday Laveau as the wolf, was tremendous fun. We were lost on the way to Grandma's House with a bag of things my mummy had packed for grandma. Vodka, teabags, cough medicine, frilly knickers...  none of them really suitable.

 

What's the time, Mr Wolf? Gin o'clock!

And Wednesday night Foxy and I went out as Berk and Mrs Hair: Cut Up and Shut Up Funeral Services, singing the Worm Song, selling funeral plans, taking pulses (steady but thready), measuring people up for coffins - inside leg, head etc adding 2 inches for bloating - and making awful death-related banter completely deadpan. Hysterical and was laughing for hours after. Hung, drawn and slaughtered.

 

 Whenever You See A Hearse Go By Remember One Day You've Got To Die... we do the cutting up, you do the shutting up...


And then yesterday I had an interview for a manager role at work. Busy week...

 

Next week I am doing recordings and the following week on the 4th I have the first of a few October gigs. Such fun!! :D xx

 

REVOLUTIONARY RADIO

So again I have been busy.

 

 I was on Exeter's Phonic FM last Sunday for Revolutionary Radio... They played my reading of Francois Villon's The Epitaph - Balade of The Hanged.

 

 The translation from the original french is by Algernon Charles Swinburne which you can download from my Soundcloud: http://soundcloud.com/missvontrapp

 

 I am doing a walkabout which will essentially be a lot of clowning on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday with a stiltwalker, a wolf and whatnot...

 

And on Friday I have an interview at work for a manager role for which I need to create a presentation...

 

And week after next I have some recording to do for songs which will be going on the next album...

 

Argh!!!

 

After which, I shall leave you with a picture of my bloomers courtesy of the lovely Bob:

Summer Steam and Halloween is fast approaching

I SURVIVED THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!

And it truly was a Zombie Apocalypse by the end of the weekend, since I got up at 4:30am on Saturday morning, went to work with the cello etc, got the train there, performed in the evening and stayed up till 3:30 in the morning because I HAD TO SEE PROFESSOR ELEMENTAL.

Who, by the way, is a lovely chap and wasn't in the least intimidated by my makeup.

The gig in the Roundhouse (no Patrick Swayze kicks involved) was fantastic. I had a truly mahvellous audience who even asked me to sign autographs!! 

I really enjoyed all the other bands and made lots of new fiends... Thanking in no particular order: Seraphina for inviting moi,  Tom from Veller Lia for the loan of the amp, Del for putting me up and feeding me, fiends for mahvellous photos - especially Peter and Smiff-ease photography... and to The Dark Design who very kindly gave me a lift all the way back home in their band 'tourbus' (hired van). Most mahvellous of them indeed. 

And I behaved, mostly, I only drank a pint of Pimms...And the Zombie Apocalypse? That was me, Sunday morning, having been up 23 hours the night before and only having slept 3 hours...

Here's some photographic evidence....





And here: Miss Von Trapp meets Professor Elemental and scares him with her severed head:


AND the mahvellous Rick Smith of Smiff-ease Photography did me these awesome shots of awesomeness...

:


So, what's next I hear you ask?  Sometime around the 17/18/19th September I am supposed to be doing some walkabout clowning thingy, then around the 22ndish I am supposed to be in the studio recording my schtuf - and recording schtuf for my sister Lena Smith's album...

Then all hell breaks loose being busy in my favourite month beginning with, on the 4th October, this:

That was a lot of pictures, wasn't it. I do apologise.  Goodnight, fiends.

Punks and Pirates and Zombie Steampunks...

Been very busy recently with giggage for Auntie Pus' birthday bash - he used to support The Damned, recording cello on a Pirate Folk album with Three Strand Minstrelsy... and organising travel to my next gig which is a Steampunk festival event with a Zombie Apocalypse theme in darkest Cornwall for Summer Steam 2012.

It's going to be awesome. Going on the train which will be a first for my cello and first great western... and camping. Camping with my Cello.  Zombies... I'll fit right in.  And for which reason I am taking the electric cello!!

Further details if you also wish to come along and see me, Professor Elemental and loads of other great bands and Zombie-based Apocalyptic Activities from this link y'ere:
Summer Steam 2012

Daisy Daisy give me your answer do...

I've gone crazy since I dismembered you.

Mahvellous afternoon at Freedom Fields Festival. New previously unaired songs went down very well too and a satisfyingly participative audience. Did theses:
Disclaimer
Favourite Things
Cruel Britannia
Anne Boleyn
You've Got a Lovett (The Pie Song)
Tragic Moments
Little Ball of Yarn
The Worm Song
Daisy Daisy
Albert and The Lion
Green and Yeller

 And I cut my own fringe this morning. Just a little too short. Can you tell?

 

Downside/Upside


Very sad to announce that due to circumstances beyond my control the Doctor and The Medics gig I was going to be playing has been cancelled.

 

On the plus side, I am available on the 3rd November now if you want me and very pleased to tell you I will be performing at Bridgwater Arts Centre for Shhh Burlesque! alongside some awesome burlesque including BEATRIX VON BOURBON on 27th October!!!

How I claimed my Official Week back from the Queen

Last week, the Queen saw fit to hijack both my wedding anniversary on the 3rd June AND my official birthday on the 9th with her own Jubilee and birthday celebrations. How very dare she, without even offering to do diaries.

Since I too am an Elizabeth, I declared myself Royalty, and boycotted the Jubilee celebrations by going away on holiday to the caravan and missing it all... On Wednesday I was crowned the Monarch of Gutter Utterances for a truly filthy limerick on a facebook page, and on the Thursday (7th) performed 'With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm' (1930's Stanley Holloway Music Hall song) and 'Cruel Brittania' at the Dolly Delight's Royal Jubblies Jubilee show with my severed head (Anne Boleyn) on stage.

The audience were fantastic, and keen to sing a long once I'd threatened to behead them - maybe a bit mean of me. And though I felt I wasn't quite my best having been to a funeral in the afternoon, everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves - which is a job well done in my books.

Cruel Britannia

It was a good night, and I didn't get home til half past midnight. Made a new fiend with the lovely Lilly Laudanum, whose Queen Victoria act is a riot and thankfully I didn't turn into a pumpkin.

Friday I got my tricycle. Yes, I have a tricycle now. It's blue and huge and has a basket on the back where I can put the cats. They're currently using it as a shelter from the rain under its cover. It wouldn't fit in the car, so I had to ride it all the way home - first time pedalling for thirty years. Ow!

Saturday was my Official Birthday. Nothing to do with the Queen. I went to the church fete and bought myself a Horrible Histories science book all about the body. The icky bits. And in the evening, since my husband was working, a fiend of mine drove me all the way to Exeter for my BIG BIRTHDAY NIGHT OUT.

I went out in full Miss Von Trapp getup to Kinky and Quirky at the Corn Exchange, made some super fiends with Exeter Alternative Theatre, and saw the brilliant Lilly Laudanum again, along with angle grinding Keda Breeze, singinghoopingcomedienne Abigail Collins, the amazing Marnie Scarlet had me transfixed with her stapling and dart sticking in...

...and I saw and met JOE BLACK. He was mahvellous. Funny macabre. Right up my dark alley. And I got to have a good chat with him and Arran afterwards as well. Their Terms of Unnervement act about a sexually frustrated bee was awesomely funny. If it weren't for my bloomers I'd have wet myself laughing.

I got a photo and I made him sign my Murder/Fever lyrics sheet (c)Miss Von Trapp 2012

Meeting Joe BlackMurder/Fever Lyric Sheet autographed 
by Joe Black

Got back at 3am and once again didn't turn into a pumpkin. Phew. Perfect end to a perfect week I'd say.

Next Show: Lovely Jubblies: Dolly Delights Jubilee Show




Thursday June 7th 2012: Miss Von Trapp will be haunting the Tower of London With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm.  We'll also have Queen Victoria visiting, and lots of lovely burlesque-type Lovely Jubblies. We are not amused... but you should be!!
KITTY’S DOLLS BURLESQUE presents DOLLY DELIGHTS
‘ ROYAL JUBBLIES

 

Celebrating the Queens Jubilee in style!

Bi-monthly sell out burlesque showcase. Expect comedic mayhem, birthday suits, camp nonsence, bum wiggles and a whole lotta fun! The Hostess with the mostess Lily Belle will be entertaining you and keeping your vocal chords exercised! This is a jam packed line up, we have many newbies braving the stage as duets and solos! 

 

 

Headlining LILLY LAUDANUM travelling all the way from Wales to give you a bit of royal seeing to! Truly unique and quirky an act that you’ll never forget! Special guest MISS VON TRAPP delightfully odd, 2 years down the line she is still making you weep, scream and slightly disturbed!

DIVINE DOLLS

KITTY’S DOLLS SHOWCASE, braving the stage girls from Kitty Kanes burlesque classes! 2 large groups! Bringing some energetic routines and showcase some new faces to Annabels and to the stage! Belly dancing from AMEERA and her AMEERETTES -Soloists & Duets names tba…

There is limited seating, so limited tickets, to avoid disappointment book early! All of the events in the past year have ~SOLD OUT~ the seated tickets before the doors open, so for group bookings make sure you get in touch

So Come Woop and holla to show your support and share the love!

DRESS TO IMPRESS!

Advance Tickets:

Front Table Seats (V.I.P)

£8 (limited first to buy will get, only available online), All other advance seating £6 advance

Tickets on the door £7

Buy online here: http://​kittysdollsburlesque.com/​Burlesque-Shows(2355518).ht​m

Doors open 8.30pm

Show starts 9.15pm (sharp) – late

www.annabelscabaret.co.uk

 

A Rambling Bio

Miss Von Trapp was discovered at a folk festival in late 2006 clutching madly at her cello, muttering something incomprehensible about worms and claiming that 'they'd let her out again'.

Noone can be entirely sure when or where she was originally unearthed but she's here now to revolt and entertain.


 She'll have you singing campfire singalong grisly folk songs, ghoulish rewrites of cabaret numbers, music hall songs traditional and her own and the odd bit of darkly humorous poetry thrown in for good measure...

And with makeup reminiscent of Aunt Sally - a folk game played at fairs where the unfortunate dolly was the target of many a coconut - and possibly a tin of cat food about her person, Miss Von Trapp would prefer flowers or gin if you were to throw anything at all.

Putting the fun into funereal since 2006 and performing live since 2007.  Available for weddings, funerals, festivals, cabaret nights, Halloween, Christmas, anything but children's parties...

*not yet road-tested on under-10s.

 

 Trad.Argh




 

 

 

Dates from the Dairy. For the Diary...

Save the Dates! Some seriously exciting gigs coming up and more to be announced...


24th May, Ladies Night at Black Jacks. A night hosted by laydees, for everyone... An eclectic mix of lounge, jazz, folky styles... and me. Oh dear oh dear...

 

7th June, Dolly Delights Lovely Jubblies, Annabels Cabaret. With my head tucked underneath my arm... Ticket info here: Kitty's Dolls Burlesque

 

9th August - An Evening with Auntie Pus (The Punk Balladeer) @ B Bar, Plymouth feat. punk, poetry, R 'n' R & jazz with very special guests.

 

3rd November, supporting Doctor and the Medics, DBS Live, Plymouth. Raising money for Bands for Land.

 

More news and booking information for tickets as I receive it.

Half an hour of humourous horror awaits...

Or horrorful humour if you will. At least, that's what I'm doing...

Ladies Night at Black Jacks.  24th May.  8pm.

If you would like to listen to and find out more about each act you can find their info here:


 Lena Smith
Facebook
Soundcloud

Josie Newton
Facebook
YouTube

Miss Von Trapp
Facebook
Soundcloud

Bernardine Artuso
Reverbnation

 Harriet Jones
Facebook
Soundcloud

May Day! May Day!

May Day. And I was in the studio at the art college in front of this:

It's the biggest camera I've ever seen, or been in front of, and entirely hand made by Tim Pearse and Martin... He's been taking lots of pics of burlesque performers with it and you can find the project link here: http://20x24cameraproject.tumblr.com/This is the image that was taken of me and I LOVE it. If I'd remembered it was negative I'd have held the cello on the opposite side to normal and showed off my tattoo as well lol, but I was going for a victorian vaudeville postcard look and I certainly achieved that!!



What an amazing photo!! And here's another one from the last show taken by Michael J Cole. Thanks xx



Next show is 24th May at Black Jacks. Ladies Night. 8pm. Hosted by Laydees, for everyone...See you there for half an hour of horror!!

Oh what a night, Dolly Delight!

Had a most mahvellous evening at the Dolly Delights show. Not least how fantastic my audience were - in that I got a standing ovation and had to come back for more applause.  Mahvellous indeed.

Also incredibly happy with this stellar testimonial from Star Khechara:

"Like a gothic doll from a horror movie sits Miss Von Trapp cackling and sat astride her electric cello. Booming out morbidly moribund lyrics and revamped traditional songs with a disturbing 'sing-a'long' style reminiscent of a scene from a Tim Burton film, Miss Von Trapp will hold you spellbound with her dark operatic capers and yet it is laughter that abounds in her audience as we find mirth in the twisted details of her songs and story telling. I recommend experiencing her performances - they're to DIE for."

Star Khechara http://thefaceliftdiet.com/

There's a new photo up in the gallery, and a video will be imminent.

In other news, next Dolly Delights is a Jubilee theme and I'm working on ideas already...

Imminent Giggage...


Thursday April 12th
Kitty’s Dolls Burlesque proudly presents
DOLLY DELIGHTS ‘APRIL ANNIVERSARY ‘ a special Celebration Show

 

Kitty’s Dolls Burlesque presents….DOLLY DELIGHTS APRIL ANNIVERSARY!
Celebrating 2 years of Dolly delights, thats a hell of a lot of shimmies!…   Bi-monthly sell out burlesque showcase. Expect comedic mayhem, birthday suits, camp nonsense, bum wiggles and a whole lotta fun! The Hostess with the mostess Lily Belle will be entertaining you and keeping your vocal chords exercised!This is a jam packed line up, we have many newbies braving the stage as duets and solos!
 
Headlining KITTY KANE performing the classic ‘Dropping bras not bombs’ in celebration of performing it for over 2 years, a classic at the club!
DIVINE DOLLS
KITTY’S DOLLS SHOWCASE, braving the stage girls from Kitty Kanes burlesque classes! 2 large groups! Bringing some energetic routines and showcase some new faces to Annabels and to the stage!
Belly dancing from AMEERA and her AMEERETTES.
Soloists & Duets names tba
There is limited seating so limited tickets, to avoid disappointment book early! All of the events in the past year have ~SOLD OUT~ the seated tickets before the doors open, so for group bookings make sure you get in touch !So Come Woop and holla to show your support and share the love!
 
 
DRESS TO IMPRESS!
 
 
 

Advance Tickets:Front Table Seats (V.I.P)£8 (limited first to buy will get, only available online)

All other advance seating £6 – Tickets on the door £7

 Buy online here: http://kittysdollsburlesque.com/Burlesque-Shows(2355518).htm

 Doors open 8.30pm Show starts 9.15pm (sharp)

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